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The Real Reward

Filed under: — jen d @ 1:38 pm

This morning I rode into work struggling with a very specific thought pattern consisting mainly of untruths and delusions I’d willfully put into place in my heart and mind. It’s amazing how much energy one can put into endeavoring to maintain an illusion, to cultivate feelings that one assumes would go along with the fulfillment of that illlusion if it were to become a reality. We say we sin and deceive ourselves and feed our flesh because it’s easier than telling ourselves the Truth and resting in it, but lying to ourselves in light of the Truth we’ve been given indeed takes an enormous amount of creative effort. What we really mean is that we just WANT to deceive ourselves and feed our flesh because it FEELS GOOD NOW.

Or at least, it feels good for a LITTLE while – a very paltry, sad, little nanosecond, really, if that. Part of the deception is thinking that these feelings are really pleasurable, but as Christians, we know better. We know that the “satisfaction” of sin is a rotten peach that only looks good until you take a big, foaming bite out of it. Even if we hold off taking that bite and just hold on to the peach and admire its outer skin for as long we can, we’re never more satisfied than we are frustrated about it. It’s garbage, and we know it, but we want to be sure before we throw it away, so we usually end up biting into it, with inevitably nasty results. (more…)


16,801.5 Days and Counting

Filed under: — jen d @ 10:17 am

Psalm 90:10 The days of our years are threescore years and ten; and if by reason of strength they be fourscore years, yet is their strength labour and sorrow; for it is soon cut off, and we fly away.

Psalm 90:12 So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.

In CREATIVE COUNTERPART, a book mentioned in my last post, the author shares a story about a woman who decided to count up the number of days she’d have left on the earth if she were to live to be 70. Today I’m officially 24 years old, and I decided to try the excersize in honor of the event. Forty-six years sounds like a lot more than a mere 16,801.5 days, doesn’t it? Especially since – as we’ve been so potently reminded by recent world events – there’s no guarantee of having them! And, this time last year, I had over 17,000 days… In another 20 years, there won’t even be 10,000 days left in the countdown. It’s a somewhat sobering thought. (more…)

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